After several years of being in the shadows, I was given my first opportunity to preach this past weekend for the first time in several years. These thoughts are a part of the tragic result of that development.
Admittedly, my preaching opportunity arose out of about 50% dare, and another 50% obligation. The element of, what you might call, "calling" was a rock-solid 0%. My good friend Adam pastors a small church called Open Door. And a couple of years ago I made a self-deprecating comment that nobody would ever allow me to preach in a church again for the rest of my lifetime. He saw that statement as a challenge. So when I asked if I could recruit mentors during his church service for the faith-based mentoring program that employs me, he kindly saw the opportunity to disprove my expired declaration.
I spend a decent amount of time in the Scriptures, so I had passed through several passages that I had strongly considered as options to share with Open Door. But for some reason, my heart gave me a subtle confirmation when I rolled across John 14:15 about two weeks before my scheduled church service. It simply states, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." (ESV) Now really this is a pretty convenient scripture if one wanted to transform a Bible verse into an exegetical hammer to bang on a congregations' head with a commonly used little preaching technique called guilt. If you love God you will keep his commandments. Volunteering as a mentor is obedience to God's commandments. If you love God you will volunteer as a mentor. Slam Bible. Rake in mentors. Shake hands and ascend into Heaven.
The reality is I think that God called me to look into that verse and explore it, maybe even meditate on it. I may have mistaken the call to listen to God speak to me through this verse as His call to preach on it. Either way, the message for Open Door opened the door for me to look into a short passage of scripture that my heart badly needed to consider.
I don't like the verse. Okay, there; I said it. I don't like it because it uses the word "commandments". And what's worse, it associates that word with the term "love". I want to be great at love. But I really don't feel too great about commandments. So I would rather not associate those two concepts together. Truth is, when I read that verse this is what my mind hears: "If you really loved me you wouldn't screw up all of the time." That voice made the exploration of this verse difficult for me.
My first quest in exploration is to discover exactly what Jesus' commandments are in the Gospel of John. I looked for the Sermon on the Mount because I know that's a famous place in the gospels where Jesus reinterprets some Old Testament commands. But that sermon is not recorded in the book of John. I tried to find some other "thou shalls" and "thou shall nots" but there were none to be found. The Jesus that is portrayed in the book of John is a little bit different. He is a little mysterious, a little evasive (seriously, he sneaks away and vanishes in crowds regularly), a little cryptic. He's the kind of Jesus that beer drinking folks love to talk about because he is sort of a philosopher. I've been around some drunk folks before, and drunk folks always love Jesus and love to say things like, "Ya man, that Jesus was a pretty cool dude and I bet he would hang out and drink a beer with me if he were around tonight." The Jesus in the Gospel of John is kind of the type of Jesus that the drunk guy likes. But he is also a little frustrating, at least to me. See, if I were to approach the Jesus of John's gospel and say, "Hey Jesus, my transmission is slipping on my truck. Do you think it could be the clutch?" Jesus might respond, "Brent, I am in the Father and it is the Father who is in me. And because you know me, you also know the Father. And greater is the one who is in You because of the one who is in me." I would walk away from this conversation with two things, more gray hairs on my head, and an unfixed transmission.
I sent out an e-mail to many of my friends asking for their feedback on the verse in John 14. I found out that about half of my friends perceive the verse in the same way as me. Many people, myself included, initially respond to the verse with the idea that we need to be obedient to Jesus' commandments if we want to prove that we love him. In other words, we say in our hearts, "I want to be someone who loves Jesus, so I should do a better job at keeping his commandments." That was my initial approach. But there's more to be discovered here.
John wrote some other books in the New Testament. They are easy to find because they are all called "John". Well, there is one called Revelation but I'm going to leave that one alone for now. The John letters are all clearly written by the same John because they all have this very similar language in them. We see some recurring themes in John's writings that I'm not going to elaborate on in this blog for the sake of time. But those themes involve some significant terminology like The Word, Light & Darkness, The World, The Spirit, Belief, and of course Love. A few of these important themes are spelled out in the very familiar and famous verse of John 3:16, "For God so loved The World that He gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." In 1 John 3:23-24 we get this little helpful gem, "And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us."
That pretty much answers the question on Jesus' commandments according to John. And I recognize that word "abide". See, right after our John 14:15 verse, in the very next chapter, Jesus talks a little about abiding. He talks about us (his disciples) abiding in Jesus, and mentions that he is the vine and we are the branches, and that we must abide in him in order to bear any fruit. I looked up this word "abide". I thought that it meant something along the lines of obedience or submission. Turns out that it is from the same root word as "abode". So abide means to reside with, to settle, to make your home alongside. Could it be that Jesus' commandments are to believe in Him, to love each other, and to live with Jesus? That seems all too simple. I like it.
See, what if Jesus' statement in John 14:15 doesn't mean, "If you really loved me you would be doing a better job at keeping my commandments." What if, instead, we approached the verse with this in mind, "I really need help in being like Jesus, so I need to do everything I can to get close to Jesus and love Him."? See, the secret to righteousness is in abiding. It's not that the secret to loving Jesus is in obedience. After all, Jesus tells us in John 15:5, "...for apart from me you can do nothing." I think He really meant that. In another one of John's letters he tells us, "We love him (God) because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19)
I really waste my effort when I strive and pursue obedience to commandments. But when I pursue dependence on Jesus Christ, I love Him. And in that love I become obedient. I can't help but become obedient. Hanging out with Jesus puts me in alignment with His will, because it makes me like Him.
I could write so much more on this subject, but I would risk taking something so beautifully simple and making it complicated. May those of us who strive find rest in these simple offers, believe in Jesus' love for us, and love each other.
10.08.2010
A Helping Hand in a Woolen Shawl
Running is something that I have taken up in the past couple of years of my life, although I haven't necessarily built up a great resume of success with it. But I do enjoy it. Here lately it has taken on more special meaning because I run as part of a team called Team LLF (http://www.lexlf.org/). LLF stands for the Lexington Leadership Foundation. They are a Christian ministry in Lexington, Kentucky that is sort of the man behind the man behind the scenes of outreach organizations and events in Lexington. They do a lot of things. I don't know all of the guys on the team, but some of my closest and most valued friends are on that team and I have had the privilege of running with them. And we are not all athletes either, or at least not very good ones. Some of us are. But some of us are ex-bums trying to change our McDonalds-three-times-a-week regimens and do something new and good for our bodies and minds. When I run with these guys I inevitably run better. I push further. I develop the mentality, "If he can do it I can do it!" and I give it a little bit extra.
Here lately I have had in a thorn in my flesh in my running goals, metaphorically speaking (actually it was most likely a metaphor in the Bible too so that may make my statement metaphorically speaking about a metaphorical speaking). The thorn is in the form of a shin splint. Have any of you ever had shin splints? They can be quite painful at times. But mine, however, is not really that painful. Instead it is kind of a nagging pain that is annoying more than unbearable. Shin splints are infamous for recurring, so once you have them they can be tough to get rid of. It has already taken me out of training for a half-marathon that I was training to run. I won't get into the details of what causes shin splints, but suffice to say that I have one, and I'm actually icing it with a bag of frozen generic peas from Kroger as I'm sitting here writing this blog. The shin splints have caused me to rearrange my running goals to shorter distances until I can build up enough conditioned strength to manage the greater distances.
So this morning my goal was to run a pretty quick and easy two miles. I ran three miles earlier this week and I felt a slight pain in the shins, only to the touch, so I didn't want to risk injuring them further with an intense run. But while running I felt better than expected and wasn't experiencing any pain in the shin, so I pushed on ahead to try and complete three miles. Because I had only planned on a two mile run, I had pushed a little harder pace than usual on the first mile. So finishing the last mile this morning was laborious because my heart rate was higher than usual for that distance. The last half mile I didn't know if I was going to make it. Now, I'm not ashamed to tell you that it is not uncommon for me to pray when I'm running. I pray for several reasons. One, it helps me to get my mind off of my own misery. Also, I genuinely believe that God has all power, and so if called upon, He may just choose to loan me some of His and help me get a little boost. Laugh if you want, but I'll take all of the help I can get. This morning, when I was struggling, I asked God to help me get through that last half mile. I was not happy about the way I was feeling. At first I told God, "God, help me to be willing to suffer a little bit this next minute or so in order to feel the gratitude of having accomplished the distance when it is over." That is a worthy prayer! And it has helped me on many occasions. After all, it is Biblical for us to embrace suffering for the sake of the greater goal! But on the last hundred yards or so, I didn't know if I had it in me. So, I literally invited Jesus to run the last stretch with me.
Those of you who may be agnostic, atheist, or skeptics can laugh at me and I will gladly accept the ridiculousness of this behavior. But it won't stop me from sharing my experience here, for I think it is worthy of sharing. When I invited Jesus to run the distance with me, I pictured in my mind that Jesus was running just ahead of me by about three yards, encouraging me to keep going. That is a familiar situation for me, as my running partners will share with any of you that I typically fall back just behind the pack without losing ground completely. But Jesus did something unexpected. He slowed down and came along beside of me. At this point, Jesus turned and said to me, "There now, that's better. Now we can do this together." And, as a side note, I would like to mention that in my mental image Jesus was wearing the typical garb that you see in any one of the many Jesus movies, long robes or shawls. However, he had on running shoes, like modern Nike's. I'm not lying to you. And I have never used illegal drugs. He and I both joked with each other about how miserable we felt (I liked knowing that Jesus wasn't particularly enjoying the suffering either). After all, Jesus suffered and died on the cross for me, and He certainly is under no obligation to go on a three mile run with me if He wants to take His rest. But He did run next to me, and it helped. But it still wasn't helping enough. So He actually laughed, took my hand, and we ran the last fifty yards hand in hand. To the drivers alongside of me on the street I would have only appeared as an ambitious and tired runner pumping my right fist. I finished the distance. And I didn't even puke at the end.
Now sometimes I am a bit of a spiritual whacko, and sometimes I'm not. I may have been a spiritual whacko this morning. If there is any atheist out there who believes that I simply conjure these things in my mind to give myself inspiration, then I will accept that possibility. Perhaps I do. But if that is the case, then at the minimum I will thank my Creator for giving me an imagination and willingness to consider Him, invite Him, and use my thoughts of Him as an inspiration to push harder. My point is simply that, whatever IT was, it helped me finish. And to me, it was Jesus in a woolen shawl and some Nike's.
My foot is now numb from the frozen peas, so I will leave you with these thoughts of Jesus, generic frozen vegetables, athletic goals, and spiritual nutcase. But if you get the chance to, invite Jesus to do something with you today; something routine, insignificant, uninspiring. Perhaps your task will gain significance, become inspiring, and shine light into your routine. The passers-by may look with confusion as you laugh in your car on your afternoon commute, or when you grip an invisible hand while leading a staff meeting at your job. But hey, we are all a little bit crazy. And Jesus was crazy too, at least in the minds of many who observed Him. But He had power to conquer death, and He did it with peace! And I could use a little of that.
Here lately I have had in a thorn in my flesh in my running goals, metaphorically speaking (actually it was most likely a metaphor in the Bible too so that may make my statement metaphorically speaking about a metaphorical speaking). The thorn is in the form of a shin splint. Have any of you ever had shin splints? They can be quite painful at times. But mine, however, is not really that painful. Instead it is kind of a nagging pain that is annoying more than unbearable. Shin splints are infamous for recurring, so once you have them they can be tough to get rid of. It has already taken me out of training for a half-marathon that I was training to run. I won't get into the details of what causes shin splints, but suffice to say that I have one, and I'm actually icing it with a bag of frozen generic peas from Kroger as I'm sitting here writing this blog. The shin splints have caused me to rearrange my running goals to shorter distances until I can build up enough conditioned strength to manage the greater distances.
So this morning my goal was to run a pretty quick and easy two miles. I ran three miles earlier this week and I felt a slight pain in the shins, only to the touch, so I didn't want to risk injuring them further with an intense run. But while running I felt better than expected and wasn't experiencing any pain in the shin, so I pushed on ahead to try and complete three miles. Because I had only planned on a two mile run, I had pushed a little harder pace than usual on the first mile. So finishing the last mile this morning was laborious because my heart rate was higher than usual for that distance. The last half mile I didn't know if I was going to make it. Now, I'm not ashamed to tell you that it is not uncommon for me to pray when I'm running. I pray for several reasons. One, it helps me to get my mind off of my own misery. Also, I genuinely believe that God has all power, and so if called upon, He may just choose to loan me some of His and help me get a little boost. Laugh if you want, but I'll take all of the help I can get. This morning, when I was struggling, I asked God to help me get through that last half mile. I was not happy about the way I was feeling. At first I told God, "God, help me to be willing to suffer a little bit this next minute or so in order to feel the gratitude of having accomplished the distance when it is over." That is a worthy prayer! And it has helped me on many occasions. After all, it is Biblical for us to embrace suffering for the sake of the greater goal! But on the last hundred yards or so, I didn't know if I had it in me. So, I literally invited Jesus to run the last stretch with me.
Those of you who may be agnostic, atheist, or skeptics can laugh at me and I will gladly accept the ridiculousness of this behavior. But it won't stop me from sharing my experience here, for I think it is worthy of sharing. When I invited Jesus to run the distance with me, I pictured in my mind that Jesus was running just ahead of me by about three yards, encouraging me to keep going. That is a familiar situation for me, as my running partners will share with any of you that I typically fall back just behind the pack without losing ground completely. But Jesus did something unexpected. He slowed down and came along beside of me. At this point, Jesus turned and said to me, "There now, that's better. Now we can do this together." And, as a side note, I would like to mention that in my mental image Jesus was wearing the typical garb that you see in any one of the many Jesus movies, long robes or shawls. However, he had on running shoes, like modern Nike's. I'm not lying to you. And I have never used illegal drugs. He and I both joked with each other about how miserable we felt (I liked knowing that Jesus wasn't particularly enjoying the suffering either). After all, Jesus suffered and died on the cross for me, and He certainly is under no obligation to go on a three mile run with me if He wants to take His rest. But He did run next to me, and it helped. But it still wasn't helping enough. So He actually laughed, took my hand, and we ran the last fifty yards hand in hand. To the drivers alongside of me on the street I would have only appeared as an ambitious and tired runner pumping my right fist. I finished the distance. And I didn't even puke at the end.
Now sometimes I am a bit of a spiritual whacko, and sometimes I'm not. I may have been a spiritual whacko this morning. If there is any atheist out there who believes that I simply conjure these things in my mind to give myself inspiration, then I will accept that possibility. Perhaps I do. But if that is the case, then at the minimum I will thank my Creator for giving me an imagination and willingness to consider Him, invite Him, and use my thoughts of Him as an inspiration to push harder. My point is simply that, whatever IT was, it helped me finish. And to me, it was Jesus in a woolen shawl and some Nike's.
My foot is now numb from the frozen peas, so I will leave you with these thoughts of Jesus, generic frozen vegetables, athletic goals, and spiritual nutcase. But if you get the chance to, invite Jesus to do something with you today; something routine, insignificant, uninspiring. Perhaps your task will gain significance, become inspiring, and shine light into your routine. The passers-by may look with confusion as you laugh in your car on your afternoon commute, or when you grip an invisible hand while leading a staff meeting at your job. But hey, we are all a little bit crazy. And Jesus was crazy too, at least in the minds of many who observed Him. But He had power to conquer death, and He did it with peace! And I could use a little of that.
10.03.2010
The Bad News & Good News of Suffering: My Neverending Story
Sometimes when I read the Bible I lose the ability to receive a powerful message or lesson because I get wrapped up in the words and forget to pay attention to the story. Perhaps this is the consequence of a few years of seminary training where I learned to break down text into smaller and smaller pieces in order to better interpret the message of the whole; definitely a worthy pursuit. But the "story" is something different. In a good story, you begin to have a relational connection with the characters. You, as the reader, begin a journey with them when you pick up the book and begin reading the first page. When I was a kid I was enthusiastic about a popular kids movie called The Never Ending Story. In that movie, the main character literally began living the adventure of the book, and becomes the main character in the book as he reads page by page. It was a great movie featuring a lovable flying cocker spaniel. While you consider your next available opportunity to run to your neighborhood movie rental store let me tell you a little bit about why I began writing this blog with this point. I want to share with you an insight I gained recently when I engaged in a familiar passage of scripture that I approached as story rather than as theological information.
I was reading in Mark 8 this morning, specifically verses 31 through 9:1 (I would encourage any reader of the Bible to begin ignoring chapter breaks in their devotional times. They are handy for creating a universal system for Biblical citation, but they often interrupt some of the most powerful connections of the story. They are not intended to be chapters that begin a new "scene" the way that chapters work in a novel). In these verses we begin the scene with Jesus sharing some really depressing and hard-to-swallow information about what will soon happen to Him. As a matter of fact, the information is so dis-heartening that the gospel writer even bothers to explain, "And He said this plainly" (v32). In other words, Jesus didn't spruce up the information with roses, rainbows, and good tidings. It is hard for me as the reader to capture the "story" here because I already know the ending. So I tend to read Jesus' words and in my mind I just hear, "yada yada yada..Jesus will die...yada yada...Jesus will rise...yada yada ya I know already." But in the story, I remember for a moment that this is an intimate friend of Peter, James, John, Thomas, Judas the good guy, Judas the bad guy, and the other guys that I can't remember right now. Imagine if your best friend, favorite teacher, and personal mentor just sat down one day and said, "Look fellas, eventually I'm going to be arrested, thrown in prison, serve many years of a prison sentence for a crime I did not commit, and then placed in the electric chair. But I will be rising again so don't worry about me." I don't know what kind of friend you are, but my resopnse would be very similar to Peter's response in verse 33. The Bible chooses to describe that response as "rebuke".
Peter rebukes Jesus. Then immediately afterward Jesus rebukes Peter and says, "Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." It is thoughts about this verse that I wish to share with you. I hope I didn't waste your time too much with the first two lengthy paragraphs, but I hope my perspective here on this verse will be of some value. When I was a younger believer I was offended that Jesus called Peter, Satan. It doesn't seem very nice does it? I have some different perspective these days. It helps a little bit if I separate our cultural perspective of Satan and remember the Biblical information about Satan. We tend to perceive Satan as the ultimate evil, the world's worst serial killer times one-hundred, who gets most excited about torturing you for all eternity. Some of that may be true about Satan. But the mental image of that description is not exactly the Biblical portrayal of Satan. Satan is first and foremost, an Accuser. His name actually is adapted from the Hebrew word that means "The Accuser". In Biblical story, Satan is not very interested in you or I. He is interested mostly in God; specifically robbing God of honor and glory and showing God that His creation is better run with power rather than love. He doesn't like the fact that people glorify God, so he wants to separate God and man from their relationship with each other in order to rob God of glory. Perhaps we think of Satan as being someone who loves to torture us because we see evidence of him torturing Job in the book of Job. But remember, the torture of Job was not about Job; it was about Satan proving to God that people's love for God was based on blessing rather than faith. The torture of Job was an experiment of variables and constants. Job had to suffer in order for both Satan to make (and fail to make) his point, and God to prove His point. In other references to Satan in scripture, we get evidence that he frequently tempts people away from God's will with the quick rewards of pleasure, and accuses both God and people by bending truth in a way that robs the opportunity for loving relationship between God and humanity. Satan is more concerned about robbing God than torturing you. But as people, we are often simply a pawn in his game. This understanding of Satan helps me to have a better understanding of Jesus' address to "Satan" in verse 33 of Mark 8. Satan is the Prince of this World, who is given power to reign over it for a length of time. The Kingdom of God is opposed to the World. So anytime something occurs that is not of the Kingdom of God, it is under the reign of Satan and could possibly be accused of being Satanic. Thus, Satan is addressed in Jesus' rebuke of Peter because Peter has his mind, "...not on the things of God, but on the things of man."
So what was so worldly about Peter's rebuke? That is the part of this story that most interests me. I can relate to Peter in this story a lot more easily than I can relate to Jesus. Peter simply did not like the news that Jesus laid before them. Again, in the "story" I have to remember that Peter had a relationship with Jesus. He loved him, had left everything for Him, and had been through some pretty meaningful experiences with Jesus. Jesus' news was not good news. Peter simply stood up for his friend. I would do the same. Why? Because I wouldn't want to lose my friend. I would not want the guilt in my conscious of knowing that Jesus suffered and died when I could do something to prevent it. I would do just what Peter did, and I wouldn't feel very bad about it either!
There is light in the darkness of this story, and it comes in the next part. After Peter makes his rebuke, Jesus calls everybody to huddle in close to Him because He wants to share some very important perspective with them. Maybe Jesus didn't want to just leave Peter feeling like crap because He just called Him Satan. It was worth a little bit of explanation so that Peter and the crowd around them understood where Jesus was coming from. So He says, "Okay, look everybody, come over here for a second, I need to explain something to you." Then He shares with them the words recorded in Mark 8:34-38. I'm going to focus specifically on the first part of these statements. Jesus says, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" Too often I hear these verses set apart and separated from the rebuke of Peter in the previous verse! Don't miss this connection my friends, it is of immense value to understanding the heart of Jesus! These statements were shared in response to Peter's rebuke, and in explanation of Jesus' return rebuke of Peter. This is the Story, not just some theological information.
Peter was referenced alongside Satan as thinking about human concerns rather than Godly concerns. That is not so great of an evil. It is understandable. After all, it is human nature to think as a human! Jesus knew that Peter loved him and cared about him. But Jesus needed to redirect Peter's understanding of love, a Godly love rather than a human love. Human love is but a dim reflection of Godly love. As humans, we cannot love without some selfish and self-serving purpose. We love and hope to be loved and cared for in return. Peter will stand up for Jesus and protect Jesus from death so that He can feel better about himself, as well as earn Jesus' love. Therein lies the error. Peter wants to prove his friendship to Jesus, to earn Jesus' admiration of their friendship. Again, not the worst of evils. However, the information that Jesus then shares with the crowd may be seen as a request. Jesus tells the disciples and the crowd that whoever really wants to be with Him must lay down his own life, suffer, and die for the sake of Jesus and the gospel. Wow, that really sucks! But again, if I read this verse without the context of the story, then I lose the connection. At the beginning of this story (verse 31) Jesus told His friends that He was going to lay down His life, suffer, and die, but also rise again! He is telling His friends that if they want to follow Him then they must do the same thing that He is going to do.
The implication here can only be caught when this event is read as a story, a beautiful story. In essence Jesus is saying to His friends, "Look, if you really love me and want to be with me, then don't try to protect me from this suffering. This suffering is my purpose for being here. Instead, please come with Me. Take the journey with Me. Don't let Me walk this path alone. Join with Me in the adventure and beautiful redemption that this act of sacrifice will offer to the world!" Jesus is inviting them to be a part of the same beautiful act of redemption that He is beginning. He is going first (thank God), and is offering the same beautiful climax of the story, the defeat of suffering and death, for all who are willing to walk the same road with Him. An invitation friends, not a rebuke! He is promising us that the rewards at the end of the journey will far exceed the suffering that we will share with Christ. Paul shares the excitement of this opportunity in Phillippians 3:8-11. Paul understood that suffering was the beautiful path that would lead us to the rewards of being reunited with Jesus in love and intimate relationship with God. Remember, love and intimate relationship with God is exactly what Satan wants to break! Hence, Peter was rebuked because, in his attempt to be a caring friend to Jesus, he was representing Satan's agenda...albeit unknowingly. But Jesus cared enough to explain and to provide Peter and the others with a greater opportunity of love. That invitation is offered to you and I as well.
There are many things I could do in my life under the drive of good intentions. After all, a lot of good deeds are accomplished without the guidance of God, at least on the surface level. But God has the power to take even bad events and turn them into good results. God makes all things good. In this story Jesus is sharing a very deep love with His followers, one that goes deeper than our self-centered understanding. He is asking them to hang with Him, to continue a little further in the journey with Him, to love Him enough to go through some suffering with Him. Why? Because being together is more valuable than doing good things just for the sake of doing good things. If I want to truly be with Jesus, then I must be willing to go alongside Him on His entire journey, even if it involves a little suffering. The great news is that I have the promise of the reward that Jesus makes available to me. Death is not the end of my story. Resurrection is not even the end of my story. The good news of my story is that there is no end to my story! I get to spend eternity with the One who is all-knowing, abounding in love, who will always provide for me in my needs, and allow me the priviledge of livin in a beautiful world alongside a loving God (look at the original condition of the world in Genesis 2 and the return of that condition in Revelation 21 & 22).
I am the first one to gripe and moan when situations in life get a little bit tough. Did you hear any moaning today? It was probably me doing a little suffering for Jesus. How easily I forget the opportunity that is available to me if only I am willing to suffer for a little while. This morning in church I heard a person who has had a lifelong struggle in drug addiction share verses in 1 Peter 5, including verse 10 which says, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." What a beautiful promise. Sadly, I've spent most of my life angrily asking God, "Why did you give me this addiction? Why did you make me weak? Why did you take that relationship away from me? Why? Why? Why?" I weep to think of the missed opportunities that I could have been with my loving God if only I had been willing to suffer alongside Jesus. Today I sit here more grateful for my hardships rather than resentful of my difficulties. After all, they have lead me to nearness with God. And I need that nearness, I really do. I am going to suffer more in this life before it's over with, I believe. But I also will be even closer with God than I am now when it's all said and done. Thank You, Jesus, that You went first, that You took the worst of the suffering for me, that You will be there with me in the suffering of today and tomorrow, and most of all, that You will be with me in the celebration party at the end of the story!
I was reading in Mark 8 this morning, specifically verses 31 through 9:1 (I would encourage any reader of the Bible to begin ignoring chapter breaks in their devotional times. They are handy for creating a universal system for Biblical citation, but they often interrupt some of the most powerful connections of the story. They are not intended to be chapters that begin a new "scene" the way that chapters work in a novel). In these verses we begin the scene with Jesus sharing some really depressing and hard-to-swallow information about what will soon happen to Him. As a matter of fact, the information is so dis-heartening that the gospel writer even bothers to explain, "And He said this plainly" (v32). In other words, Jesus didn't spruce up the information with roses, rainbows, and good tidings. It is hard for me as the reader to capture the "story" here because I already know the ending. So I tend to read Jesus' words and in my mind I just hear, "yada yada yada..Jesus will die...yada yada...Jesus will rise...yada yada ya I know already." But in the story, I remember for a moment that this is an intimate friend of Peter, James, John, Thomas, Judas the good guy, Judas the bad guy, and the other guys that I can't remember right now. Imagine if your best friend, favorite teacher, and personal mentor just sat down one day and said, "Look fellas, eventually I'm going to be arrested, thrown in prison, serve many years of a prison sentence for a crime I did not commit, and then placed in the electric chair. But I will be rising again so don't worry about me." I don't know what kind of friend you are, but my resopnse would be very similar to Peter's response in verse 33. The Bible chooses to describe that response as "rebuke".
Peter rebukes Jesus. Then immediately afterward Jesus rebukes Peter and says, "Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." It is thoughts about this verse that I wish to share with you. I hope I didn't waste your time too much with the first two lengthy paragraphs, but I hope my perspective here on this verse will be of some value. When I was a younger believer I was offended that Jesus called Peter, Satan. It doesn't seem very nice does it? I have some different perspective these days. It helps a little bit if I separate our cultural perspective of Satan and remember the Biblical information about Satan. We tend to perceive Satan as the ultimate evil, the world's worst serial killer times one-hundred, who gets most excited about torturing you for all eternity. Some of that may be true about Satan. But the mental image of that description is not exactly the Biblical portrayal of Satan. Satan is first and foremost, an Accuser. His name actually is adapted from the Hebrew word that means "The Accuser". In Biblical story, Satan is not very interested in you or I. He is interested mostly in God; specifically robbing God of honor and glory and showing God that His creation is better run with power rather than love. He doesn't like the fact that people glorify God, so he wants to separate God and man from their relationship with each other in order to rob God of glory. Perhaps we think of Satan as being someone who loves to torture us because we see evidence of him torturing Job in the book of Job. But remember, the torture of Job was not about Job; it was about Satan proving to God that people's love for God was based on blessing rather than faith. The torture of Job was an experiment of variables and constants. Job had to suffer in order for both Satan to make (and fail to make) his point, and God to prove His point. In other references to Satan in scripture, we get evidence that he frequently tempts people away from God's will with the quick rewards of pleasure, and accuses both God and people by bending truth in a way that robs the opportunity for loving relationship between God and humanity. Satan is more concerned about robbing God than torturing you. But as people, we are often simply a pawn in his game. This understanding of Satan helps me to have a better understanding of Jesus' address to "Satan" in verse 33 of Mark 8. Satan is the Prince of this World, who is given power to reign over it for a length of time. The Kingdom of God is opposed to the World. So anytime something occurs that is not of the Kingdom of God, it is under the reign of Satan and could possibly be accused of being Satanic. Thus, Satan is addressed in Jesus' rebuke of Peter because Peter has his mind, "...not on the things of God, but on the things of man."
So what was so worldly about Peter's rebuke? That is the part of this story that most interests me. I can relate to Peter in this story a lot more easily than I can relate to Jesus. Peter simply did not like the news that Jesus laid before them. Again, in the "story" I have to remember that Peter had a relationship with Jesus. He loved him, had left everything for Him, and had been through some pretty meaningful experiences with Jesus. Jesus' news was not good news. Peter simply stood up for his friend. I would do the same. Why? Because I wouldn't want to lose my friend. I would not want the guilt in my conscious of knowing that Jesus suffered and died when I could do something to prevent it. I would do just what Peter did, and I wouldn't feel very bad about it either!
There is light in the darkness of this story, and it comes in the next part. After Peter makes his rebuke, Jesus calls everybody to huddle in close to Him because He wants to share some very important perspective with them. Maybe Jesus didn't want to just leave Peter feeling like crap because He just called Him Satan. It was worth a little bit of explanation so that Peter and the crowd around them understood where Jesus was coming from. So He says, "Okay, look everybody, come over here for a second, I need to explain something to you." Then He shares with them the words recorded in Mark 8:34-38. I'm going to focus specifically on the first part of these statements. Jesus says, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" Too often I hear these verses set apart and separated from the rebuke of Peter in the previous verse! Don't miss this connection my friends, it is of immense value to understanding the heart of Jesus! These statements were shared in response to Peter's rebuke, and in explanation of Jesus' return rebuke of Peter. This is the Story, not just some theological information.
Peter was referenced alongside Satan as thinking about human concerns rather than Godly concerns. That is not so great of an evil. It is understandable. After all, it is human nature to think as a human! Jesus knew that Peter loved him and cared about him. But Jesus needed to redirect Peter's understanding of love, a Godly love rather than a human love. Human love is but a dim reflection of Godly love. As humans, we cannot love without some selfish and self-serving purpose. We love and hope to be loved and cared for in return. Peter will stand up for Jesus and protect Jesus from death so that He can feel better about himself, as well as earn Jesus' love. Therein lies the error. Peter wants to prove his friendship to Jesus, to earn Jesus' admiration of their friendship. Again, not the worst of evils. However, the information that Jesus then shares with the crowd may be seen as a request. Jesus tells the disciples and the crowd that whoever really wants to be with Him must lay down his own life, suffer, and die for the sake of Jesus and the gospel. Wow, that really sucks! But again, if I read this verse without the context of the story, then I lose the connection. At the beginning of this story (verse 31) Jesus told His friends that He was going to lay down His life, suffer, and die, but also rise again! He is telling His friends that if they want to follow Him then they must do the same thing that He is going to do.
The implication here can only be caught when this event is read as a story, a beautiful story. In essence Jesus is saying to His friends, "Look, if you really love me and want to be with me, then don't try to protect me from this suffering. This suffering is my purpose for being here. Instead, please come with Me. Take the journey with Me. Don't let Me walk this path alone. Join with Me in the adventure and beautiful redemption that this act of sacrifice will offer to the world!" Jesus is inviting them to be a part of the same beautiful act of redemption that He is beginning. He is going first (thank God), and is offering the same beautiful climax of the story, the defeat of suffering and death, for all who are willing to walk the same road with Him. An invitation friends, not a rebuke! He is promising us that the rewards at the end of the journey will far exceed the suffering that we will share with Christ. Paul shares the excitement of this opportunity in Phillippians 3:8-11. Paul understood that suffering was the beautiful path that would lead us to the rewards of being reunited with Jesus in love and intimate relationship with God. Remember, love and intimate relationship with God is exactly what Satan wants to break! Hence, Peter was rebuked because, in his attempt to be a caring friend to Jesus, he was representing Satan's agenda...albeit unknowingly. But Jesus cared enough to explain and to provide Peter and the others with a greater opportunity of love. That invitation is offered to you and I as well.
There are many things I could do in my life under the drive of good intentions. After all, a lot of good deeds are accomplished without the guidance of God, at least on the surface level. But God has the power to take even bad events and turn them into good results. God makes all things good. In this story Jesus is sharing a very deep love with His followers, one that goes deeper than our self-centered understanding. He is asking them to hang with Him, to continue a little further in the journey with Him, to love Him enough to go through some suffering with Him. Why? Because being together is more valuable than doing good things just for the sake of doing good things. If I want to truly be with Jesus, then I must be willing to go alongside Him on His entire journey, even if it involves a little suffering. The great news is that I have the promise of the reward that Jesus makes available to me. Death is not the end of my story. Resurrection is not even the end of my story. The good news of my story is that there is no end to my story! I get to spend eternity with the One who is all-knowing, abounding in love, who will always provide for me in my needs, and allow me the priviledge of livin in a beautiful world alongside a loving God (look at the original condition of the world in Genesis 2 and the return of that condition in Revelation 21 & 22).
I am the first one to gripe and moan when situations in life get a little bit tough. Did you hear any moaning today? It was probably me doing a little suffering for Jesus. How easily I forget the opportunity that is available to me if only I am willing to suffer for a little while. This morning in church I heard a person who has had a lifelong struggle in drug addiction share verses in 1 Peter 5, including verse 10 which says, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." What a beautiful promise. Sadly, I've spent most of my life angrily asking God, "Why did you give me this addiction? Why did you make me weak? Why did you take that relationship away from me? Why? Why? Why?" I weep to think of the missed opportunities that I could have been with my loving God if only I had been willing to suffer alongside Jesus. Today I sit here more grateful for my hardships rather than resentful of my difficulties. After all, they have lead me to nearness with God. And I need that nearness, I really do. I am going to suffer more in this life before it's over with, I believe. But I also will be even closer with God than I am now when it's all said and done. Thank You, Jesus, that You went first, that You took the worst of the suffering for me, that You will be there with me in the suffering of today and tomorrow, and most of all, that You will be with me in the celebration party at the end of the story!
9.16.2010
Why Baptism?
First of all, it has not gone without notice that I am writing an update blog about baptism within a site that is entitled "Dead Man Rising". It is no coincidence either. The blog title is in reference to the hope that is available to us as men to rise from the ashes of our feelings of hopelessness, despair, inadequacies, and shame. Baptism is a reference to death and resurrection; another rising indeed. We are baptized as believers as a symbol of our death and resurrection that is made possible in the death and resurrection of Christ himself. I have been in the process of "rising from the dead" for quite some time now. But baptism is a symbolic act that I have not taken, mostly because it never really occurred to me to take it. Although now, I'm not entirely sure that is the only reason.
I became a believer in Jesus Christ as Lord when I was sixteen years old. I was at a retreat that took place at Trinity Baptist Church in Kerrville, Texas. It was not my home church, but it was the church that seemed to be drawing the largest crowd of fellow high school students. And so it became a great place to be to make friends and to fit in. I was participating in a youth focused weekend called First Love Youth Weekend. I believe my primary motivation for being at the event was to be near a girl that lit my heart up in a way that rivaled the Holy Spirit himself! I was unsuccessful with the girl. But when they invited us to make a decision to surrender our lives to Jesus Christ, and to accept Him as our Lord and Savior, I prayed and made that decision as I sat quietly in the church pew. It was the greatest moment of my life. Actually, I'm not entirely sure the reward of the decision was immediately evident. I do, however, remember journaling that evening in my nightly notebook. And at the end of that night's entry I very simply wrote, "Jesus, thank you for saving me today." I still have the notebook to this day, and could readily pull it out of its closet storage to show it to you. But the real evidence of salvation began to shine the next day. I was at a camping trip with my family. I simply couldn't ignore the joy that was inside of me. I felt alive. Free. I felt like I weighed less. I genuinely wanted to be helpful to my family. All I could listen to was Christian music, and that was a very large change from the music I had been allowing into my ears and my head. At the time I had only a casette of a local Christian band called Gabriel, and an album from Michael W. Smith. I can only hope that my Loving God has forgiven me for the poor musical tastes that I possessed in my early salvation (God bless Michael W. Smith). The point is, I changed that day.
There have been some times in my life that I have struggled with the reality of that decision that was made in the church pew at Trinity Baptist Church. The first time was in college. I had a difficult emotional journey through my college experience. I felt like my Christian environment had been ripped away from me and I didn't have any foundation on which to stand. It is true, I had become very relient on my Christian popularity rather then a steadfast reliance on God. But I was doing the best I could. At some point I remember mourning in my heart because I realized I had completed my full freshman year of college and could not remember uttering a single prayer to God in the entire year. I also was learning a great deal of theology and literatary criticism in my classes at college that were breaking down my faith in God and the Scriptures. All of this lead to a gentle toeing at the line of agnosticism. When I was fortunate enough to visit with old high school youth group friends, I would often argue with them about misconceptions in the Bible and in common Christian theology, trying to lord over them my new found intellectualism. It was really a blanket to hide my naked and vulnerable belief system that had been left with little security. I doubted my faith. I doubted that God really loved me. I doubted myself. However, in all of that struggle and despair, there was a dim glimmer of hope that remained from "remembering the joy of my salvation", as David refers to in the Psalms. I remember sitting in the lush green lawn that lay the middle of my college campus, alone, thinking about the journey that had taken place and wondering who I really was as a believer or non-believer. And there was one pressing Truth that I could simply not deny. I could not allow myself to ignore it. It was my Salvation. I could not argue against my own doubts in order to successfully convince myself that nothing had taken place when I asked Jesus to be in my life. The feeling and the change were too real, too dramatic, and too self-evident. I was left frustrated. So much had changed, but the memory of my salvation experience haunted me and would not let me go.
The next many years of my life have been a journey of doubts and faith, growth and injury, joys and hurts. I don't believe that all of the details need to be shared here at this moment. Suffice to say that I have travelled the journey that would earn all of the approval of anyone concerned with the appropriate actions of a really great Christian guy. I served as a professional youth minister, I attended a thoelogical seminary, I received a religious masters degree, and I taught the gospel to other people. I left seminary with a great deal of knowledge, and unfortunately, a great deal of pride. The knowledge protected me a little bit. But my pride could not save me. I also inherited a lot of the doctrines and philosophies of the United Methodist denomination. One of those doctrines that exists in that denomination is that baptism is a one-time deal, and we are not to dishonor God's work by participating in a repeat baptism. I was baptised as an infant. As much as I would have liked the opportunity to make a choice about baptism as a rational adult, I was not interested in dishonoring God by denying the work that was done in my infant baptism. I simply wanted to trust God and believe.
So why the change? Well, I've taken you through this entire lengthy exposure of my life to honeslyt tell you, I'm not really sure. The Gift Of Desperation (GOD) perhaps. I need God in my life even more than I need oxygen and water. Without oxygen and water I would surely die. But without God I would lose my very soul, the very purpose for which I was created. There are worse things that can happen in our lives than death. Sometimes pain can be so unbearable that death itself begins to seem a welcome alternative. Just ask anybody who has attempted suicide in their life. Paul tells us in the book of Romans 10:9 that, "...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." That day in the church pew at age sixteen I accepted Christ as my savior. I covered the "believe in your heart" part, but I never did confess with my mouth. See, other students at the event stood up, walked to the front of the church, and made a public decleration of their decision. I hid. I kept it to myself. I have kept a lot to myself in my life. I've hidden a lot also. I've hidden as much as an adult as I did as a kid. There are probably two main motivations for my decision to be re-baptized. The first is simply that it has been highly suggested to me by men in my life who have taken on the roll of guiding me and leading me in freedom and faith. They have been right about a lot of other things, so they tend to win my obedience in spiritual matters. Plus, they have what I want in their own spiritual lives. My friends in seminary had knowledge, and I wanted that too. But these men have something deeper than knowledge (Proverbs 3:5). And I want it. It's possible that I even need it. Secondly, I believe that I am overdue in publically giving God the praise for His resurrection power in my life. He has done, and is continuing to do, something in my life that I simply do not have the power to do. Like Lazarus who was left to rot in a tomb, I know the feeling of seeming a victim of stinking circumstances. Lazarus did not have much say in the matter. Jesus just woke him up. Like Lazarus, my powerlesness has been made most evident to me. Lazarus could not wake up from death. Only Jesus could raise him. And He did. And only Jesus can do for me what I so desperately need Him to do. And I don't even have much say in the matter. I find myself walking away from a dark tomb, my lungs breathing in clean air, my legs regaining a youthful strength, and my heart beating a strange new rhythm. My grave clothes begin to fall. Fresh skin is revealed.
I doubt that our friend Lazarus would stand before Jesus and argue with him about religious doctrine not allowing his return to life. Likewise, doctrine is not my concern in this matter. What does matter to me is the opportunity to give thanks, praise, and a public witness of Christ's resurrection power. He deserves this praise. And I need his life-giving spirit. And so, without much question, I will do this thing. I will speak of the saving work and the free gift of grace that is made available to me in the blood of Jesus Christ. I will go into the water in recognition that my life alone has but one certain destiny, death. And most importantly, I will rise out of the water and declare that Christ is resurrected from the dead, and so has the power to resurrect me. And may He continue to do so. Jesus woke Lazarus. But when Jesus called to him, Lazarus had to walk out of his tomb. I have a lot of walking to do. And I have many bandages that must be removed. But only Jesus could awaken me. In recognition of Him, I will be baptized.
I became a believer in Jesus Christ as Lord when I was sixteen years old. I was at a retreat that took place at Trinity Baptist Church in Kerrville, Texas. It was not my home church, but it was the church that seemed to be drawing the largest crowd of fellow high school students. And so it became a great place to be to make friends and to fit in. I was participating in a youth focused weekend called First Love Youth Weekend. I believe my primary motivation for being at the event was to be near a girl that lit my heart up in a way that rivaled the Holy Spirit himself! I was unsuccessful with the girl. But when they invited us to make a decision to surrender our lives to Jesus Christ, and to accept Him as our Lord and Savior, I prayed and made that decision as I sat quietly in the church pew. It was the greatest moment of my life. Actually, I'm not entirely sure the reward of the decision was immediately evident. I do, however, remember journaling that evening in my nightly notebook. And at the end of that night's entry I very simply wrote, "Jesus, thank you for saving me today." I still have the notebook to this day, and could readily pull it out of its closet storage to show it to you. But the real evidence of salvation began to shine the next day. I was at a camping trip with my family. I simply couldn't ignore the joy that was inside of me. I felt alive. Free. I felt like I weighed less. I genuinely wanted to be helpful to my family. All I could listen to was Christian music, and that was a very large change from the music I had been allowing into my ears and my head. At the time I had only a casette of a local Christian band called Gabriel, and an album from Michael W. Smith. I can only hope that my Loving God has forgiven me for the poor musical tastes that I possessed in my early salvation (God bless Michael W. Smith). The point is, I changed that day.
There have been some times in my life that I have struggled with the reality of that decision that was made in the church pew at Trinity Baptist Church. The first time was in college. I had a difficult emotional journey through my college experience. I felt like my Christian environment had been ripped away from me and I didn't have any foundation on which to stand. It is true, I had become very relient on my Christian popularity rather then a steadfast reliance on God. But I was doing the best I could. At some point I remember mourning in my heart because I realized I had completed my full freshman year of college and could not remember uttering a single prayer to God in the entire year. I also was learning a great deal of theology and literatary criticism in my classes at college that were breaking down my faith in God and the Scriptures. All of this lead to a gentle toeing at the line of agnosticism. When I was fortunate enough to visit with old high school youth group friends, I would often argue with them about misconceptions in the Bible and in common Christian theology, trying to lord over them my new found intellectualism. It was really a blanket to hide my naked and vulnerable belief system that had been left with little security. I doubted my faith. I doubted that God really loved me. I doubted myself. However, in all of that struggle and despair, there was a dim glimmer of hope that remained from "remembering the joy of my salvation", as David refers to in the Psalms. I remember sitting in the lush green lawn that lay the middle of my college campus, alone, thinking about the journey that had taken place and wondering who I really was as a believer or non-believer. And there was one pressing Truth that I could simply not deny. I could not allow myself to ignore it. It was my Salvation. I could not argue against my own doubts in order to successfully convince myself that nothing had taken place when I asked Jesus to be in my life. The feeling and the change were too real, too dramatic, and too self-evident. I was left frustrated. So much had changed, but the memory of my salvation experience haunted me and would not let me go.
The next many years of my life have been a journey of doubts and faith, growth and injury, joys and hurts. I don't believe that all of the details need to be shared here at this moment. Suffice to say that I have travelled the journey that would earn all of the approval of anyone concerned with the appropriate actions of a really great Christian guy. I served as a professional youth minister, I attended a thoelogical seminary, I received a religious masters degree, and I taught the gospel to other people. I left seminary with a great deal of knowledge, and unfortunately, a great deal of pride. The knowledge protected me a little bit. But my pride could not save me. I also inherited a lot of the doctrines and philosophies of the United Methodist denomination. One of those doctrines that exists in that denomination is that baptism is a one-time deal, and we are not to dishonor God's work by participating in a repeat baptism. I was baptised as an infant. As much as I would have liked the opportunity to make a choice about baptism as a rational adult, I was not interested in dishonoring God by denying the work that was done in my infant baptism. I simply wanted to trust God and believe.
So why the change? Well, I've taken you through this entire lengthy exposure of my life to honeslyt tell you, I'm not really sure. The Gift Of Desperation (GOD) perhaps. I need God in my life even more than I need oxygen and water. Without oxygen and water I would surely die. But without God I would lose my very soul, the very purpose for which I was created. There are worse things that can happen in our lives than death. Sometimes pain can be so unbearable that death itself begins to seem a welcome alternative. Just ask anybody who has attempted suicide in their life. Paul tells us in the book of Romans 10:9 that, "...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." That day in the church pew at age sixteen I accepted Christ as my savior. I covered the "believe in your heart" part, but I never did confess with my mouth. See, other students at the event stood up, walked to the front of the church, and made a public decleration of their decision. I hid. I kept it to myself. I have kept a lot to myself in my life. I've hidden a lot also. I've hidden as much as an adult as I did as a kid. There are probably two main motivations for my decision to be re-baptized. The first is simply that it has been highly suggested to me by men in my life who have taken on the roll of guiding me and leading me in freedom and faith. They have been right about a lot of other things, so they tend to win my obedience in spiritual matters. Plus, they have what I want in their own spiritual lives. My friends in seminary had knowledge, and I wanted that too. But these men have something deeper than knowledge (Proverbs 3:5). And I want it. It's possible that I even need it. Secondly, I believe that I am overdue in publically giving God the praise for His resurrection power in my life. He has done, and is continuing to do, something in my life that I simply do not have the power to do. Like Lazarus who was left to rot in a tomb, I know the feeling of seeming a victim of stinking circumstances. Lazarus did not have much say in the matter. Jesus just woke him up. Like Lazarus, my powerlesness has been made most evident to me. Lazarus could not wake up from death. Only Jesus could raise him. And He did. And only Jesus can do for me what I so desperately need Him to do. And I don't even have much say in the matter. I find myself walking away from a dark tomb, my lungs breathing in clean air, my legs regaining a youthful strength, and my heart beating a strange new rhythm. My grave clothes begin to fall. Fresh skin is revealed.
I doubt that our friend Lazarus would stand before Jesus and argue with him about religious doctrine not allowing his return to life. Likewise, doctrine is not my concern in this matter. What does matter to me is the opportunity to give thanks, praise, and a public witness of Christ's resurrection power. He deserves this praise. And I need his life-giving spirit. And so, without much question, I will do this thing. I will speak of the saving work and the free gift of grace that is made available to me in the blood of Jesus Christ. I will go into the water in recognition that my life alone has but one certain destiny, death. And most importantly, I will rise out of the water and declare that Christ is resurrected from the dead, and so has the power to resurrect me. And may He continue to do so. Jesus woke Lazarus. But when Jesus called to him, Lazarus had to walk out of his tomb. I have a lot of walking to do. And I have many bandages that must be removed. But only Jesus could awaken me. In recognition of Him, I will be baptized.
7.05.2010
Tragedy at the Bluegrass 10K
I want to thank all of you for your financial support and prayers as I prepared for the rigorous Bluegrass 10K. I am truly blessed by all of your help and support. There are a lot of races here in Kentucky, and unfortunately it seems I may have signed up for the wrong kind of race. I was unaware that most of the registrations for the race were actually top thoroughbreds. That's right, horses. I'm actually not too intimidated by horses, and feel confident in my ability to out run them, especially in the final stages of the race. They are used to large ovals and circles, and I possess the ability to think more clearly throughout the entire course of the race. Since this race was in downtown Lexington, I believed that they would easily become confused by cars and loud noises.
The results of the race were unclear around the halfway point. Many of the horses had dropped out around the third mile in order to feast on nearby landscaping vegetation. One fell victim to a cruel race spectator who had a tempting carrot. But a handful of the well-trained horses made it to the final stretch. I really had to put everything I had into the final sprint to the finish line. I thought I might have some advantage over them because I had no 80lb jockey on my back horse whipping me. But this appeared to work more to their advantage.
In the final stretch my legs gave out on me just as I made my pass attempt to the lead thoroughbred, an up-and-comer named Chariots of Fire. Chariots of Fire showed no mercy to me as I fell helpless and hopeless on the track before him. The end results were not pretty.
Again I thank you for your support. But I don't think I shall run this kind of race again.
The results of the race were unclear around the halfway point. Many of the horses had dropped out around the third mile in order to feast on nearby landscaping vegetation. One fell victim to a cruel race spectator who had a tempting carrot. But a handful of the well-trained horses made it to the final stretch. I really had to put everything I had into the final sprint to the finish line. I thought I might have some advantage over them because I had no 80lb jockey on my back horse whipping me. But this appeared to work more to their advantage.
In the final stretch my legs gave out on me just as I made my pass attempt to the lead thoroughbred, an up-and-comer named Chariots of Fire. Chariots of Fire showed no mercy to me as I fell helpless and hopeless on the track before him. The end results were not pretty.
Again I thank you for your support. But I don't think I shall run this kind of race again.
Running for the Prize
The holiday weekend is now over. Emily and I were able to enjoy a little bit of fireworks last night at the RJ Corman fireworks display in Jessamine County. We also spent an evening in Nashville with my great friend Jason Spangler. It has been a busy weekend.
But my primary purpose in writing this blog is to update all of you on my involvement in the Bluegrass 10K here in Lexington, Kentucky.
I woke up at 5:30AM on race day to eat a piece of toast and begin stretching to wake my body up. Yes, my body does not naturally wake up at 5:30AM unfortunately. It must be awakened. Just before 7AM Emily came over and we walked together to the race starting line, which is only about two blocks from my house. Emily took all of the photographs that you see here with this blog today. When I arrived at the starting line, I was able to find most of our team by the custom running shirts that they graciously provided for us.
Now for the race: There were more than 1,500 people in this race, so you literally hear the gun go off at the starting line about three minutes before you start moving. Sort of like being in a long line of cars in a traffic jam. I stuck to my suggested training, and kept a slow pace even at the beginning, knowing that I would need the reserves in the gas tank to finish the race. The toughest part mentally was around mile 3. At that point I felt as though I would love to stop running, but realized that I was still only at the halfway point. The crowd was thick, and that made it easy to stay motivated. God really blessed us with fantastic weather. There were about three days of relief from the humidity and heat, and the race landed right on the last day of that relief. Just after the 4th mile I found Eric Geary in the crowd, the LLF CEO and my training partner. He and I stuck together for the last two miles of the race. I think he and I both agree that helped us get to the finish line. At one point in the race an Anglican priest threw holy water on me and blessed me. I think that must have helped as well. Eric and I both finished the race just fine. I surprised him with an attempt to sprint to the finish line and place just ahead of him. However, the man is more competitive than me and he managed to out-sprint me!
We had a great time. After the race many of us celebrated together at a Dunkin Donuts just down the street.
I can honestly say this was a great experience for me. Prior to this race the most I had ever run was 5 miles. The 10K is approximately 6.2 miles. I ran the entire race without stopping to walk, other than very short walk breaks to drink the water that is provided during the race. But it is a great feeling to pass the finish line knowing that your training worked, and that you have accomplished something that you didn't think you could do only a few weeks earlier. The human body is an amazing thing, able to adapt and build according to the pressure we put on it.
It may sound strange to say, but when I run I often think of the idea of suffering as it is communicated in the scriptures of the Bible. Read Romans 5. Suffering is designed to produce endurance, and endurance character, and character hope. In the scripture we encouraged to embrace suffering in order to have a greater reward at the end. When we spend out lives avoiding suffering, we wind up suffering anyways despite all of our best efforts to prevent it. Suffering is inevitable. But when we choose to suffer for the long-term gain, we are better equipped to handle the suffering that we cannot predict or avoid. I think about this when I run, and I ask God to help me with the willingness to suffer in order to feel the joy of the reward at the end of the race.
For those who supported me in finances and prayers in preparation for the race, I give you all of my thanks! Thoughts of you encouraged me on the hard moments of the run. I didn't want to let anybody down! I'm proud to have finished. The official times will be posted on the website sometime this week. In the meantime, Emily tells me I came across the finish at about 70 minutes. Not bad, but definitely some room for improvement. Eric is already talking to me about a half-marathon in the Fall, so improvement may indeed be in order! God bless all of you!
7.02.2010
Formless and Empty
"Now the earth was formless and empty..."
This is the first description of the earth that a reader of the Holy Bible will encounter. Formless. Empty. The beginning of the story of our world as we know it. Very shortly after this awe-inspiring description we read a dramatic telling of how God basically threw drama into that emptiness. Churning waves. Islands and volcanoes jutting out of the oceans. Life bursting forth from the soil and out of every forest and lake. And then us humans, so small in the grand scheme of things, were somehow given a great deal of attention. After all, if you were drawing a portrait of yourself I bet you would really focus on the details. You would want to look as good as possible. And we are told that God made us in His own image. So, for the most part, when the time came for our creation God was making a self-portrait to some extent. I had this scenario running through my mind this morning. God made something out of nothing. And He apparently did it in a pretty short amount of time. And before long (at least according to God's watch) the earth was no longer formless and no longer empty. It was full of life, movement, danger, adventure, pleasure, and pain.
Sometimes in the dark times of my life I have been guilty of believing that God was not able to fix whatever loneliness or darkness was inside of me. Or perhaps I was guilty of believing that He didn't really want to fix it. Darkness can be so deceiving. You hear a voice, but you don't know from where it is spoken. And so it is when we are in darkness. Our own despairing voices begin to speak in our minds, and we easily confuse them with the voice of God. We begin to feel that God is no longer speaking a voice of hope to our dark hearts. We believe the lost voice in the darkness that calls us to despair, and so easily we may follow it deeper into the empty black space. A friend recently told me that in complete darkness even the flicker of a small candle could light the way. What an intriguing truth. In that sense, the darker the darkness, the smaller the amount of light that is necessary to bring vision to the path. I bet you see the metaphor here. Perhaps though we despair, in that desperation such a small glimmer of hope may keep us taking one more step towards the beaming sun that awaits. That glimmer may be in a phone call to a loving friend of family member. Perhaps it is in the opportunity to help another soul even among our own tears.
God created a world full of life and light from what was once "formless and empty." And yet, so often I doubt that He can bring hope and life into me. How small is my heart compared to this great earth of ours? If only God would breath into me, perhaps the flame of the candle would ignite. Maybe life would begin to rise up, and the adventure in my own heart would begin to play out its dramatic story.
Ever felt formless and empty? It might be the best place to be. God seems to like making something out of nothing. Light that one little candle. Take one more step toward the light.
This is the first description of the earth that a reader of the Holy Bible will encounter. Formless. Empty. The beginning of the story of our world as we know it. Very shortly after this awe-inspiring description we read a dramatic telling of how God basically threw drama into that emptiness. Churning waves. Islands and volcanoes jutting out of the oceans. Life bursting forth from the soil and out of every forest and lake. And then us humans, so small in the grand scheme of things, were somehow given a great deal of attention. After all, if you were drawing a portrait of yourself I bet you would really focus on the details. You would want to look as good as possible. And we are told that God made us in His own image. So, for the most part, when the time came for our creation God was making a self-portrait to some extent. I had this scenario running through my mind this morning. God made something out of nothing. And He apparently did it in a pretty short amount of time. And before long (at least according to God's watch) the earth was no longer formless and no longer empty. It was full of life, movement, danger, adventure, pleasure, and pain.
Sometimes in the dark times of my life I have been guilty of believing that God was not able to fix whatever loneliness or darkness was inside of me. Or perhaps I was guilty of believing that He didn't really want to fix it. Darkness can be so deceiving. You hear a voice, but you don't know from where it is spoken. And so it is when we are in darkness. Our own despairing voices begin to speak in our minds, and we easily confuse them with the voice of God. We begin to feel that God is no longer speaking a voice of hope to our dark hearts. We believe the lost voice in the darkness that calls us to despair, and so easily we may follow it deeper into the empty black space. A friend recently told me that in complete darkness even the flicker of a small candle could light the way. What an intriguing truth. In that sense, the darker the darkness, the smaller the amount of light that is necessary to bring vision to the path. I bet you see the metaphor here. Perhaps though we despair, in that desperation such a small glimmer of hope may keep us taking one more step towards the beaming sun that awaits. That glimmer may be in a phone call to a loving friend of family member. Perhaps it is in the opportunity to help another soul even among our own tears.
God created a world full of life and light from what was once "formless and empty." And yet, so often I doubt that He can bring hope and life into me. How small is my heart compared to this great earth of ours? If only God would breath into me, perhaps the flame of the candle would ignite. Maybe life would begin to rise up, and the adventure in my own heart would begin to play out its dramatic story.
Ever felt formless and empty? It might be the best place to be. God seems to like making something out of nothing. Light that one little candle. Take one more step toward the light.
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