Running is something that I have taken up in the past couple of years of my life, although I haven't necessarily built up a great resume of success with it. But I do enjoy it. Here lately it has taken on more special meaning because I run as part of a team called Team LLF (http://www.lexlf.org/). LLF stands for the Lexington Leadership Foundation. They are a Christian ministry in Lexington, Kentucky that is sort of the man behind the man behind the scenes of outreach organizations and events in Lexington. They do a lot of things. I don't know all of the guys on the team, but some of my closest and most valued friends are on that team and I have had the privilege of running with them. And we are not all athletes either, or at least not very good ones. Some of us are. But some of us are ex-bums trying to change our McDonalds-three-times-a-week regimens and do something new and good for our bodies and minds. When I run with these guys I inevitably run better. I push further. I develop the mentality, "If he can do it I can do it!" and I give it a little bit extra.
Here lately I have had in a thorn in my flesh in my running goals, metaphorically speaking (actually it was most likely a metaphor in the Bible too so that may make my statement metaphorically speaking about a metaphorical speaking). The thorn is in the form of a shin splint. Have any of you ever had shin splints? They can be quite painful at times. But mine, however, is not really that painful. Instead it is kind of a nagging pain that is annoying more than unbearable. Shin splints are infamous for recurring, so once you have them they can be tough to get rid of. It has already taken me out of training for a half-marathon that I was training to run. I won't get into the details of what causes shin splints, but suffice to say that I have one, and I'm actually icing it with a bag of frozen generic peas from Kroger as I'm sitting here writing this blog. The shin splints have caused me to rearrange my running goals to shorter distances until I can build up enough conditioned strength to manage the greater distances.
So this morning my goal was to run a pretty quick and easy two miles. I ran three miles earlier this week and I felt a slight pain in the shins, only to the touch, so I didn't want to risk injuring them further with an intense run. But while running I felt better than expected and wasn't experiencing any pain in the shin, so I pushed on ahead to try and complete three miles. Because I had only planned on a two mile run, I had pushed a little harder pace than usual on the first mile. So finishing the last mile this morning was laborious because my heart rate was higher than usual for that distance. The last half mile I didn't know if I was going to make it. Now, I'm not ashamed to tell you that it is not uncommon for me to pray when I'm running. I pray for several reasons. One, it helps me to get my mind off of my own misery. Also, I genuinely believe that God has all power, and so if called upon, He may just choose to loan me some of His and help me get a little boost. Laugh if you want, but I'll take all of the help I can get. This morning, when I was struggling, I asked God to help me get through that last half mile. I was not happy about the way I was feeling. At first I told God, "God, help me to be willing to suffer a little bit this next minute or so in order to feel the gratitude of having accomplished the distance when it is over." That is a worthy prayer! And it has helped me on many occasions. After all, it is Biblical for us to embrace suffering for the sake of the greater goal! But on the last hundred yards or so, I didn't know if I had it in me. So, I literally invited Jesus to run the last stretch with me.
Those of you who may be agnostic, atheist, or skeptics can laugh at me and I will gladly accept the ridiculousness of this behavior. But it won't stop me from sharing my experience here, for I think it is worthy of sharing. When I invited Jesus to run the distance with me, I pictured in my mind that Jesus was running just ahead of me by about three yards, encouraging me to keep going. That is a familiar situation for me, as my running partners will share with any of you that I typically fall back just behind the pack without losing ground completely. But Jesus did something unexpected. He slowed down and came along beside of me. At this point, Jesus turned and said to me, "There now, that's better. Now we can do this together." And, as a side note, I would like to mention that in my mental image Jesus was wearing the typical garb that you see in any one of the many Jesus movies, long robes or shawls. However, he had on running shoes, like modern Nike's. I'm not lying to you. And I have never used illegal drugs. He and I both joked with each other about how miserable we felt (I liked knowing that Jesus wasn't particularly enjoying the suffering either). After all, Jesus suffered and died on the cross for me, and He certainly is under no obligation to go on a three mile run with me if He wants to take His rest. But He did run next to me, and it helped. But it still wasn't helping enough. So He actually laughed, took my hand, and we ran the last fifty yards hand in hand. To the drivers alongside of me on the street I would have only appeared as an ambitious and tired runner pumping my right fist. I finished the distance. And I didn't even puke at the end.
Now sometimes I am a bit of a spiritual whacko, and sometimes I'm not. I may have been a spiritual whacko this morning. If there is any atheist out there who believes that I simply conjure these things in my mind to give myself inspiration, then I will accept that possibility. Perhaps I do. But if that is the case, then at the minimum I will thank my Creator for giving me an imagination and willingness to consider Him, invite Him, and use my thoughts of Him as an inspiration to push harder. My point is simply that, whatever IT was, it helped me finish. And to me, it was Jesus in a woolen shawl and some Nike's.
My foot is now numb from the frozen peas, so I will leave you with these thoughts of Jesus, generic frozen vegetables, athletic goals, and spiritual nutcase. But if you get the chance to, invite Jesus to do something with you today; something routine, insignificant, uninspiring. Perhaps your task will gain significance, become inspiring, and shine light into your routine. The passers-by may look with confusion as you laugh in your car on your afternoon commute, or when you grip an invisible hand while leading a staff meeting at your job. But hey, we are all a little bit crazy. And Jesus was crazy too, at least in the minds of many who observed Him. But He had power to conquer death, and He did it with peace! And I could use a little of that.
10.08.2010
10.03.2010
The Bad News & Good News of Suffering: My Neverending Story
Sometimes when I read the Bible I lose the ability to receive a powerful message or lesson because I get wrapped up in the words and forget to pay attention to the story. Perhaps this is the consequence of a few years of seminary training where I learned to break down text into smaller and smaller pieces in order to better interpret the message of the whole; definitely a worthy pursuit. But the "story" is something different. In a good story, you begin to have a relational connection with the characters. You, as the reader, begin a journey with them when you pick up the book and begin reading the first page. When I was a kid I was enthusiastic about a popular kids movie called The Never Ending Story. In that movie, the main character literally began living the adventure of the book, and becomes the main character in the book as he reads page by page. It was a great movie featuring a lovable flying cocker spaniel. While you consider your next available opportunity to run to your neighborhood movie rental store let me tell you a little bit about why I began writing this blog with this point. I want to share with you an insight I gained recently when I engaged in a familiar passage of scripture that I approached as story rather than as theological information.
I was reading in Mark 8 this morning, specifically verses 31 through 9:1 (I would encourage any reader of the Bible to begin ignoring chapter breaks in their devotional times. They are handy for creating a universal system for Biblical citation, but they often interrupt some of the most powerful connections of the story. They are not intended to be chapters that begin a new "scene" the way that chapters work in a novel). In these verses we begin the scene with Jesus sharing some really depressing and hard-to-swallow information about what will soon happen to Him. As a matter of fact, the information is so dis-heartening that the gospel writer even bothers to explain, "And He said this plainly" (v32). In other words, Jesus didn't spruce up the information with roses, rainbows, and good tidings. It is hard for me as the reader to capture the "story" here because I already know the ending. So I tend to read Jesus' words and in my mind I just hear, "yada yada yada..Jesus will die...yada yada...Jesus will rise...yada yada ya I know already." But in the story, I remember for a moment that this is an intimate friend of Peter, James, John, Thomas, Judas the good guy, Judas the bad guy, and the other guys that I can't remember right now. Imagine if your best friend, favorite teacher, and personal mentor just sat down one day and said, "Look fellas, eventually I'm going to be arrested, thrown in prison, serve many years of a prison sentence for a crime I did not commit, and then placed in the electric chair. But I will be rising again so don't worry about me." I don't know what kind of friend you are, but my resopnse would be very similar to Peter's response in verse 33. The Bible chooses to describe that response as "rebuke".
Peter rebukes Jesus. Then immediately afterward Jesus rebukes Peter and says, "Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." It is thoughts about this verse that I wish to share with you. I hope I didn't waste your time too much with the first two lengthy paragraphs, but I hope my perspective here on this verse will be of some value. When I was a younger believer I was offended that Jesus called Peter, Satan. It doesn't seem very nice does it? I have some different perspective these days. It helps a little bit if I separate our cultural perspective of Satan and remember the Biblical information about Satan. We tend to perceive Satan as the ultimate evil, the world's worst serial killer times one-hundred, who gets most excited about torturing you for all eternity. Some of that may be true about Satan. But the mental image of that description is not exactly the Biblical portrayal of Satan. Satan is first and foremost, an Accuser. His name actually is adapted from the Hebrew word that means "The Accuser". In Biblical story, Satan is not very interested in you or I. He is interested mostly in God; specifically robbing God of honor and glory and showing God that His creation is better run with power rather than love. He doesn't like the fact that people glorify God, so he wants to separate God and man from their relationship with each other in order to rob God of glory. Perhaps we think of Satan as being someone who loves to torture us because we see evidence of him torturing Job in the book of Job. But remember, the torture of Job was not about Job; it was about Satan proving to God that people's love for God was based on blessing rather than faith. The torture of Job was an experiment of variables and constants. Job had to suffer in order for both Satan to make (and fail to make) his point, and God to prove His point. In other references to Satan in scripture, we get evidence that he frequently tempts people away from God's will with the quick rewards of pleasure, and accuses both God and people by bending truth in a way that robs the opportunity for loving relationship between God and humanity. Satan is more concerned about robbing God than torturing you. But as people, we are often simply a pawn in his game. This understanding of Satan helps me to have a better understanding of Jesus' address to "Satan" in verse 33 of Mark 8. Satan is the Prince of this World, who is given power to reign over it for a length of time. The Kingdom of God is opposed to the World. So anytime something occurs that is not of the Kingdom of God, it is under the reign of Satan and could possibly be accused of being Satanic. Thus, Satan is addressed in Jesus' rebuke of Peter because Peter has his mind, "...not on the things of God, but on the things of man."
So what was so worldly about Peter's rebuke? That is the part of this story that most interests me. I can relate to Peter in this story a lot more easily than I can relate to Jesus. Peter simply did not like the news that Jesus laid before them. Again, in the "story" I have to remember that Peter had a relationship with Jesus. He loved him, had left everything for Him, and had been through some pretty meaningful experiences with Jesus. Jesus' news was not good news. Peter simply stood up for his friend. I would do the same. Why? Because I wouldn't want to lose my friend. I would not want the guilt in my conscious of knowing that Jesus suffered and died when I could do something to prevent it. I would do just what Peter did, and I wouldn't feel very bad about it either!
There is light in the darkness of this story, and it comes in the next part. After Peter makes his rebuke, Jesus calls everybody to huddle in close to Him because He wants to share some very important perspective with them. Maybe Jesus didn't want to just leave Peter feeling like crap because He just called Him Satan. It was worth a little bit of explanation so that Peter and the crowd around them understood where Jesus was coming from. So He says, "Okay, look everybody, come over here for a second, I need to explain something to you." Then He shares with them the words recorded in Mark 8:34-38. I'm going to focus specifically on the first part of these statements. Jesus says, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" Too often I hear these verses set apart and separated from the rebuke of Peter in the previous verse! Don't miss this connection my friends, it is of immense value to understanding the heart of Jesus! These statements were shared in response to Peter's rebuke, and in explanation of Jesus' return rebuke of Peter. This is the Story, not just some theological information.
Peter was referenced alongside Satan as thinking about human concerns rather than Godly concerns. That is not so great of an evil. It is understandable. After all, it is human nature to think as a human! Jesus knew that Peter loved him and cared about him. But Jesus needed to redirect Peter's understanding of love, a Godly love rather than a human love. Human love is but a dim reflection of Godly love. As humans, we cannot love without some selfish and self-serving purpose. We love and hope to be loved and cared for in return. Peter will stand up for Jesus and protect Jesus from death so that He can feel better about himself, as well as earn Jesus' love. Therein lies the error. Peter wants to prove his friendship to Jesus, to earn Jesus' admiration of their friendship. Again, not the worst of evils. However, the information that Jesus then shares with the crowd may be seen as a request. Jesus tells the disciples and the crowd that whoever really wants to be with Him must lay down his own life, suffer, and die for the sake of Jesus and the gospel. Wow, that really sucks! But again, if I read this verse without the context of the story, then I lose the connection. At the beginning of this story (verse 31) Jesus told His friends that He was going to lay down His life, suffer, and die, but also rise again! He is telling His friends that if they want to follow Him then they must do the same thing that He is going to do.
The implication here can only be caught when this event is read as a story, a beautiful story. In essence Jesus is saying to His friends, "Look, if you really love me and want to be with me, then don't try to protect me from this suffering. This suffering is my purpose for being here. Instead, please come with Me. Take the journey with Me. Don't let Me walk this path alone. Join with Me in the adventure and beautiful redemption that this act of sacrifice will offer to the world!" Jesus is inviting them to be a part of the same beautiful act of redemption that He is beginning. He is going first (thank God), and is offering the same beautiful climax of the story, the defeat of suffering and death, for all who are willing to walk the same road with Him. An invitation friends, not a rebuke! He is promising us that the rewards at the end of the journey will far exceed the suffering that we will share with Christ. Paul shares the excitement of this opportunity in Phillippians 3:8-11. Paul understood that suffering was the beautiful path that would lead us to the rewards of being reunited with Jesus in love and intimate relationship with God. Remember, love and intimate relationship with God is exactly what Satan wants to break! Hence, Peter was rebuked because, in his attempt to be a caring friend to Jesus, he was representing Satan's agenda...albeit unknowingly. But Jesus cared enough to explain and to provide Peter and the others with a greater opportunity of love. That invitation is offered to you and I as well.
There are many things I could do in my life under the drive of good intentions. After all, a lot of good deeds are accomplished without the guidance of God, at least on the surface level. But God has the power to take even bad events and turn them into good results. God makes all things good. In this story Jesus is sharing a very deep love with His followers, one that goes deeper than our self-centered understanding. He is asking them to hang with Him, to continue a little further in the journey with Him, to love Him enough to go through some suffering with Him. Why? Because being together is more valuable than doing good things just for the sake of doing good things. If I want to truly be with Jesus, then I must be willing to go alongside Him on His entire journey, even if it involves a little suffering. The great news is that I have the promise of the reward that Jesus makes available to me. Death is not the end of my story. Resurrection is not even the end of my story. The good news of my story is that there is no end to my story! I get to spend eternity with the One who is all-knowing, abounding in love, who will always provide for me in my needs, and allow me the priviledge of livin in a beautiful world alongside a loving God (look at the original condition of the world in Genesis 2 and the return of that condition in Revelation 21 & 22).
I am the first one to gripe and moan when situations in life get a little bit tough. Did you hear any moaning today? It was probably me doing a little suffering for Jesus. How easily I forget the opportunity that is available to me if only I am willing to suffer for a little while. This morning in church I heard a person who has had a lifelong struggle in drug addiction share verses in 1 Peter 5, including verse 10 which says, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." What a beautiful promise. Sadly, I've spent most of my life angrily asking God, "Why did you give me this addiction? Why did you make me weak? Why did you take that relationship away from me? Why? Why? Why?" I weep to think of the missed opportunities that I could have been with my loving God if only I had been willing to suffer alongside Jesus. Today I sit here more grateful for my hardships rather than resentful of my difficulties. After all, they have lead me to nearness with God. And I need that nearness, I really do. I am going to suffer more in this life before it's over with, I believe. But I also will be even closer with God than I am now when it's all said and done. Thank You, Jesus, that You went first, that You took the worst of the suffering for me, that You will be there with me in the suffering of today and tomorrow, and most of all, that You will be with me in the celebration party at the end of the story!
I was reading in Mark 8 this morning, specifically verses 31 through 9:1 (I would encourage any reader of the Bible to begin ignoring chapter breaks in their devotional times. They are handy for creating a universal system for Biblical citation, but they often interrupt some of the most powerful connections of the story. They are not intended to be chapters that begin a new "scene" the way that chapters work in a novel). In these verses we begin the scene with Jesus sharing some really depressing and hard-to-swallow information about what will soon happen to Him. As a matter of fact, the information is so dis-heartening that the gospel writer even bothers to explain, "And He said this plainly" (v32). In other words, Jesus didn't spruce up the information with roses, rainbows, and good tidings. It is hard for me as the reader to capture the "story" here because I already know the ending. So I tend to read Jesus' words and in my mind I just hear, "yada yada yada..Jesus will die...yada yada...Jesus will rise...yada yada ya I know already." But in the story, I remember for a moment that this is an intimate friend of Peter, James, John, Thomas, Judas the good guy, Judas the bad guy, and the other guys that I can't remember right now. Imagine if your best friend, favorite teacher, and personal mentor just sat down one day and said, "Look fellas, eventually I'm going to be arrested, thrown in prison, serve many years of a prison sentence for a crime I did not commit, and then placed in the electric chair. But I will be rising again so don't worry about me." I don't know what kind of friend you are, but my resopnse would be very similar to Peter's response in verse 33. The Bible chooses to describe that response as "rebuke".
Peter rebukes Jesus. Then immediately afterward Jesus rebukes Peter and says, "Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." It is thoughts about this verse that I wish to share with you. I hope I didn't waste your time too much with the first two lengthy paragraphs, but I hope my perspective here on this verse will be of some value. When I was a younger believer I was offended that Jesus called Peter, Satan. It doesn't seem very nice does it? I have some different perspective these days. It helps a little bit if I separate our cultural perspective of Satan and remember the Biblical information about Satan. We tend to perceive Satan as the ultimate evil, the world's worst serial killer times one-hundred, who gets most excited about torturing you for all eternity. Some of that may be true about Satan. But the mental image of that description is not exactly the Biblical portrayal of Satan. Satan is first and foremost, an Accuser. His name actually is adapted from the Hebrew word that means "The Accuser". In Biblical story, Satan is not very interested in you or I. He is interested mostly in God; specifically robbing God of honor and glory and showing God that His creation is better run with power rather than love. He doesn't like the fact that people glorify God, so he wants to separate God and man from their relationship with each other in order to rob God of glory. Perhaps we think of Satan as being someone who loves to torture us because we see evidence of him torturing Job in the book of Job. But remember, the torture of Job was not about Job; it was about Satan proving to God that people's love for God was based on blessing rather than faith. The torture of Job was an experiment of variables and constants. Job had to suffer in order for both Satan to make (and fail to make) his point, and God to prove His point. In other references to Satan in scripture, we get evidence that he frequently tempts people away from God's will with the quick rewards of pleasure, and accuses both God and people by bending truth in a way that robs the opportunity for loving relationship between God and humanity. Satan is more concerned about robbing God than torturing you. But as people, we are often simply a pawn in his game. This understanding of Satan helps me to have a better understanding of Jesus' address to "Satan" in verse 33 of Mark 8. Satan is the Prince of this World, who is given power to reign over it for a length of time. The Kingdom of God is opposed to the World. So anytime something occurs that is not of the Kingdom of God, it is under the reign of Satan and could possibly be accused of being Satanic. Thus, Satan is addressed in Jesus' rebuke of Peter because Peter has his mind, "...not on the things of God, but on the things of man."
So what was so worldly about Peter's rebuke? That is the part of this story that most interests me. I can relate to Peter in this story a lot more easily than I can relate to Jesus. Peter simply did not like the news that Jesus laid before them. Again, in the "story" I have to remember that Peter had a relationship with Jesus. He loved him, had left everything for Him, and had been through some pretty meaningful experiences with Jesus. Jesus' news was not good news. Peter simply stood up for his friend. I would do the same. Why? Because I wouldn't want to lose my friend. I would not want the guilt in my conscious of knowing that Jesus suffered and died when I could do something to prevent it. I would do just what Peter did, and I wouldn't feel very bad about it either!
There is light in the darkness of this story, and it comes in the next part. After Peter makes his rebuke, Jesus calls everybody to huddle in close to Him because He wants to share some very important perspective with them. Maybe Jesus didn't want to just leave Peter feeling like crap because He just called Him Satan. It was worth a little bit of explanation so that Peter and the crowd around them understood where Jesus was coming from. So He says, "Okay, look everybody, come over here for a second, I need to explain something to you." Then He shares with them the words recorded in Mark 8:34-38. I'm going to focus specifically on the first part of these statements. Jesus says, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" Too often I hear these verses set apart and separated from the rebuke of Peter in the previous verse! Don't miss this connection my friends, it is of immense value to understanding the heart of Jesus! These statements were shared in response to Peter's rebuke, and in explanation of Jesus' return rebuke of Peter. This is the Story, not just some theological information.
Peter was referenced alongside Satan as thinking about human concerns rather than Godly concerns. That is not so great of an evil. It is understandable. After all, it is human nature to think as a human! Jesus knew that Peter loved him and cared about him. But Jesus needed to redirect Peter's understanding of love, a Godly love rather than a human love. Human love is but a dim reflection of Godly love. As humans, we cannot love without some selfish and self-serving purpose. We love and hope to be loved and cared for in return. Peter will stand up for Jesus and protect Jesus from death so that He can feel better about himself, as well as earn Jesus' love. Therein lies the error. Peter wants to prove his friendship to Jesus, to earn Jesus' admiration of their friendship. Again, not the worst of evils. However, the information that Jesus then shares with the crowd may be seen as a request. Jesus tells the disciples and the crowd that whoever really wants to be with Him must lay down his own life, suffer, and die for the sake of Jesus and the gospel. Wow, that really sucks! But again, if I read this verse without the context of the story, then I lose the connection. At the beginning of this story (verse 31) Jesus told His friends that He was going to lay down His life, suffer, and die, but also rise again! He is telling His friends that if they want to follow Him then they must do the same thing that He is going to do.
The implication here can only be caught when this event is read as a story, a beautiful story. In essence Jesus is saying to His friends, "Look, if you really love me and want to be with me, then don't try to protect me from this suffering. This suffering is my purpose for being here. Instead, please come with Me. Take the journey with Me. Don't let Me walk this path alone. Join with Me in the adventure and beautiful redemption that this act of sacrifice will offer to the world!" Jesus is inviting them to be a part of the same beautiful act of redemption that He is beginning. He is going first (thank God), and is offering the same beautiful climax of the story, the defeat of suffering and death, for all who are willing to walk the same road with Him. An invitation friends, not a rebuke! He is promising us that the rewards at the end of the journey will far exceed the suffering that we will share with Christ. Paul shares the excitement of this opportunity in Phillippians 3:8-11. Paul understood that suffering was the beautiful path that would lead us to the rewards of being reunited with Jesus in love and intimate relationship with God. Remember, love and intimate relationship with God is exactly what Satan wants to break! Hence, Peter was rebuked because, in his attempt to be a caring friend to Jesus, he was representing Satan's agenda...albeit unknowingly. But Jesus cared enough to explain and to provide Peter and the others with a greater opportunity of love. That invitation is offered to you and I as well.
There are many things I could do in my life under the drive of good intentions. After all, a lot of good deeds are accomplished without the guidance of God, at least on the surface level. But God has the power to take even bad events and turn them into good results. God makes all things good. In this story Jesus is sharing a very deep love with His followers, one that goes deeper than our self-centered understanding. He is asking them to hang with Him, to continue a little further in the journey with Him, to love Him enough to go through some suffering with Him. Why? Because being together is more valuable than doing good things just for the sake of doing good things. If I want to truly be with Jesus, then I must be willing to go alongside Him on His entire journey, even if it involves a little suffering. The great news is that I have the promise of the reward that Jesus makes available to me. Death is not the end of my story. Resurrection is not even the end of my story. The good news of my story is that there is no end to my story! I get to spend eternity with the One who is all-knowing, abounding in love, who will always provide for me in my needs, and allow me the priviledge of livin in a beautiful world alongside a loving God (look at the original condition of the world in Genesis 2 and the return of that condition in Revelation 21 & 22).
I am the first one to gripe and moan when situations in life get a little bit tough. Did you hear any moaning today? It was probably me doing a little suffering for Jesus. How easily I forget the opportunity that is available to me if only I am willing to suffer for a little while. This morning in church I heard a person who has had a lifelong struggle in drug addiction share verses in 1 Peter 5, including verse 10 which says, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." What a beautiful promise. Sadly, I've spent most of my life angrily asking God, "Why did you give me this addiction? Why did you make me weak? Why did you take that relationship away from me? Why? Why? Why?" I weep to think of the missed opportunities that I could have been with my loving God if only I had been willing to suffer alongside Jesus. Today I sit here more grateful for my hardships rather than resentful of my difficulties. After all, they have lead me to nearness with God. And I need that nearness, I really do. I am going to suffer more in this life before it's over with, I believe. But I also will be even closer with God than I am now when it's all said and done. Thank You, Jesus, that You went first, that You took the worst of the suffering for me, that You will be there with me in the suffering of today and tomorrow, and most of all, that You will be with me in the celebration party at the end of the story!
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